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Green Baby - Don't Call Me Names!

anne of green gables baby baby names Blog dr. Suess green green mile soylent

One of the greatest joys of having a little one on the way, is choosing a name.  It is also a HUGE responsibility. [caption id="attachment_5308" align="alignright" width="256"] You named me WHAT?!?[/caption] It is something that strikes fear in my heart.  I mean, we as parents, could single handedly ruin a child's life by accidentally forgetting to check something so little as initials! Let me tell you a little story. When we were first expecting our daughter, the Pink Princess, I remember being terrified that something could go wrong.  What?  Well, ANYthing.  I was worried about a lot of things, as I'm sure most new moms are. There came a moment, when I needed it most, that I am sure I heard an almost audible voice speak the word "Promise" to me.  It was instantly relieving and then humorous.  My God is amazing AND He has a sense of humor!  You see, our last name is Green. In that moment, I thought about naming our daughter "Promise", if only as a middle name.  But then it hit me, her initials would be "P. Green"!  Comforted, with a healthy dose of laughter.  God is good!  I was able to carry my promise from God, through the rest of the pregnancy, that everything would be ok.  But I tried, in vain, to find a name that meant promise.  Even so, she is still my little promise.  It's a good story and it was the start of the name game for us. Ok.  Now that you know that Green is really our last name, That's HOW I became the Green Mommy, after all. :) You might start to see our name dilemma.  I did threaten to name the Pink Princess "Soylent" once.  Awe, come funny would that be?!?  Yeah?  No?! With our daughter, we were able to come up with a fairly comprehensive list of things we could NOT name our child.  Here's the list.  It's our guide for naming the Green Baby, too.

Don't call me Names "No-No" List

  • No nouns (places and things).  While that works for celebrities, a name like "Apple", well, come on!  "Eva" is also out.  "Eva Green" sounds a little too much like a Christmas tree.  Mr. Fix-it is adopted from Korea, and my in-laws are Chinese.  Names like "Asia", "India" and "China" are just not going to work.
  • No colors.  Scarlet, Violet, Hunter, Kelly, Amber, Ruby...I could go on.  They are all great names on their own, but when paired with the last name "Green", they're just humorous.  It's also why I can't use the family name "Olivia" or "Oliver".  It's too similar to "Olive Green".
  • No seasons.  Spring or Winter Green, anyone?
  • No names that start with the letters "P" or T".  I love "Green T", but not for a person's name.
  • No middle names beginning with a vowel, unless when paired with the first name, it doesn't create a word like HOG, PIG, DOG, RAG, RUG, etc.  You get the idea.
  • No names that end with an "N".  The sound is too redundant and drives me nuts.  There are a few exceptions, but for the most part, I'm avoiding names like "Ann Green".  Although, I LOVED Anne of Green Gables!
We also wanted a name that would be easy to spell and pronounce.  I have always felt bad for the child that never has their name said properly from the old fashioned PA system in schools.  Oh, how the kids would giggle!

I'm sure you could give me a list of names where the parents were clearly not thinking or perhaps they were...I remember Luke Skyler Walker from grade school.  Super nice kid, and actually, not a half bad name, even if you're not a Star Wars fan!

  Being a Jedi is awesome, being named "Harrison Dicks", not so good.  No, really.  His mother was the middle school reading teacher.  This kid DID exist!  Poor guy.  He was a rather shy, rotund, red-head already, and with a name like "Harry", well...  I remember the Vice Principal pulling his name out of a hat for a raffle, and then getting furious at the entire school for the name joke.  It was on live, close circuit TV.  He and his mother were no where to be found the following school year.  It's too bad the guidance counselor "Harry Mann" couldn't help him out.  No folks, I can't make these things up!

April May June was on my soccer team and my mother worked with a woman who's first name was "Snow".  She married a man who's last name was "White".  REALLY! This is a little newspaper clipping may parents saved, and had been slipped in the back of a baby name book my parents used.  It's a story titled "What's in a name?  Killer named Hitler is really Hilbert".  Pretty crazy, huh? Oh, the value and importance of giving your child a GOOD name, right from the start.  I know my parents chose not to name me "Sharon" simply because the name's meaning is "little princess".  They didn't want to have a princess on their hands.  Instead, I was named "Shannon".  The meaning is "little wise one".  Sure, I sometimes take poetic license and think it means "little smart alec".


So, with all that, we've decided the name "Egbert Hamilton Green" just won't work, either.  Dr. Suess is awesome, I just can't name my child after one of his books, not even after trying it in a box, with a fox.  Ha ha! Myles is also out.  I spent quite a bit of time walking the miles around the house, a sleepless zombie, with my daughter.  I'd never get the movie quote out of my head if I was walking the Green Myles. Ok, do you see it now?  When your last name is Green, choosing a good name, that isn't already taken by a close relative, is HARD!  I'm wide open for suggestions!  What name would YOU pick?  Are you up for a little Green Baby Name Challenge?  It can be either a boy or a girl's name.  We still don't know which we're having! For a little added fun: Leave a comment with a name, a reason why you like that name is good, too!  And if, by chance, we happen to choose your name suggestion, you will win a FREE cloth diaper from, of your choice!  If multiple people suggest the same name, the winner will be chosen by random.  You help me choose, and then YOU get to choose! How awesome is that?!?

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  • Kelly Sangree on

    Michael? Peter? Jacob? James? Annabelle? Natalie?

  • Shannon on

    I’ve heard about the twins Lemonjello and Orangello. I’m hoping the very fact that so many people swear it’s true, means it’s not!

  • Nora Hernando on

    You’re right, this does require a great deal of thought. I named my son Brady; his dad was worried about him being teased about “Brady Bunch,” which of course he was, but he survived. Nobody gave me any grief about my first name, but as my maiden name was Marshall, got lots of grief about “marshmallow” and “Marshall Dillon” (Gunsmoke reference, for those of you who have seen it or are old enough to remember.) A friend of mine went to school with a girl who was named Fonda Peters. Is that not the most horrible, cruel thing you could do to a girl? And also twins named Ima Pigg and Ura Pigg. He swears he is NOT making this up, and I’ve seen Fonda’s yearbook picture, but not the Pigg twins.

  • Kristina Palmer on

    Also like Lucas for a boy. :-)

  • Kristina Palmer on

    For a girl: Kate

    I love Katherine and Kate but would hate for the name to be shortened to say, Kathy. I think Kate is simple, classic and beautiful. Works well for an infant and into adulthood. Boys name – popular these days but I love it – Wyatt.

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